are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
