FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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