So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We named our party play list daddy issues
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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