I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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