youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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