You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
