Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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