i already hear my dad disowning me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize