i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
