I wish I could teleport
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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