I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
