How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
