So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
