I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
