just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
