At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
