ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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