you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
