He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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