When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
3pm strippers are depressing
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
