It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
