I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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