Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize