you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
