Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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