what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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