Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
