i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Never underestimate the power of titties
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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