Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's even glitter on my cock...
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