True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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