Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
