I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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