Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
