if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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