WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
