Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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