It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
