when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
