So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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