Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
