i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize