If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
