Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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