so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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