I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
