some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The beer is more important than you right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
