Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's shark week go big or go home
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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