David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
