Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
