week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize