Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
