I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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