Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
