I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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