just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
