Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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