I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
