If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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